PURE Poets Corner

We have discovered a hidden talent amongst the Pure Dog Listeners. Lesley Harris let slip that she used to jot down her experiences in verse. A bit of probing and we had some examples of her work and we were all very impressed. We hope that we can get Lesley to give us access to more of her writings which we will be displayed here. It may be that this will encourage other members to wax lyrical. Each poem will be preceded by a short explanation of what brought on the muse.

Years ago I had two Golden Retrievers whom I loved dearly – they did absolutely nothing I told them to do, they escaped from the garden regularly (even though it was like Colditz), I could never let them off lead, because the chances of them coming back were slim to nil, they towed me around on the end of the leads like a sack of spuds – but still I tried everything to make things right – but without a clue how to do it, I was on a hiding to nothing – so I have every sympathy with my clients, and never forget how helpless I felt.

Anyway, to keep myself sane, I used to record all the many, many, incidents in poems – reasoning that if I didn’t see the funny side, I would only sit down and cry!

Sadly, I can’t find most of them – but here is one I did find, and it still makes me chuckle (it won’t surprise you to hear that I laugh at my own jokes too!)

The cast of characters is:
Peter: old man – with a heart condition
Lucy: his very old GR – with a heart condition
Ria and Fern: my dogs who absolutely adored Peter and Lucy
Me: just back to walking after 6 weeks – put my back out falling off my daughter’s pony

Its been six long weeks, and today’s the day – my back’s been put back, and I’m feeling ok
“Am I up to the task”? I hear myself mutter, my stomach in knots, and my heart all aflutter
I look at their faces all smiley and calm – “They love you to death, they would do you no harm”.

I open the drawer, now there’s no turning back – one jangle of leads, and they’re on the attack
I win the first battle, now here comes the war – I gird up my loins, and head for the door
In a tangle of leads, and with one final bark, we’re off like the starters at Catterick Park!

We dash up the road at a heck of a pace – my arms feel like bungees, I’m red in the face
But I’m getting the rhythm, I think I can cope – from the abyss of darkness, a glimmer of hope!
And the cutway’s ahead, a haven of peace – with sniffs to be sniffed, I’ve a breather at least!

Now we’re approaching the motorway bridge – but who are those figures on top of the ridge?
My jaw hits the pavement, my veins turn to ice – it’s PETER AND LUCY, the loves of their life!
And slowly it happens, the leads start to sag, their bodies grow tense, and their tails start to wag
“I’ve endeavored to be a good mother and wife – if you love me dear lord, then please spare my life”!

Like synchronized huskies my dogs power forth – with me bouncing behind, like Nanook of the North
I see Lucy bracing – I know how she feels, as they thunder along, with me hard on their heels
But we’re halfway across, and I’m still on my feet! – then I see Pete turn pale, and my heart skips a beat
I know he’s been poorly – oh, what will Joyce say, when she finds out I’ve murdered her husband this way?

And then we’re amongst them – pandemonium reigns – I’m trying to see if Pete’s suffering pains
He’s cursing quite freely, and looking alright – not clutching his chest, or screaming in fright
And when it’s all over – and Pete’s still not dead – the relief makes me feel quite light in the head
I feel myself grinning an imbecile grin – does dog-murder count as a cardinal sin?